The P'Nut

The P'Nut

Thursday, April 29, 2010

So sleepy

it was a long day!

Dad's test went better than expected. Turned out that he didn't have enough of a blockage to need a stent. I guess that's good. I listened to his excuses all day long. I was good. Made subtle comments but I'm pretty sure I didn't get through to him at all.

My surgeon's office on the same campus as the hospital. So, while Dad was doing his 4 hour wait after his procedure, i went for my appointment. He only gave me .5 a cc. What's with that? I said I can eat an entire cow and be hungry 3 hours later and you only give me .5 cc?

I'll make a better post tomorrow. I'm super tired and ready for bed.

Sleep tight BOOBs!!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Tough Shit! No really...Tough shit!

I need fiber! And water evidently! I know I've complained about my poop before but I'm here to complain about my poop again!

My daughter will not poo-poo in the potty! We've got pee pee down but when it comes to the poop, she asked for a diaper! Ugh! Kid! POOP IN THE POTTY!!!

So much of life revolves around poop. It's important to know how often you're supposed to poop. If the poop is hard. If the poop is loose. Why is poop so important? It's the waste. Do we need to study it as long as it's leaving?

My poop clock is still living in some other time zone. My guts are all kinds of crappy! Ha! Pun! I can feel the fullness but the poop won't get out.

I feel like Amy W...full of shit! Ha! I mean I poop but only alittle. I know there's got to be more poop in there!

Anyone see the movie House Bunny? It's one of those dumb humor kind of movies that you watch when absolutely nothing else is on TV. Like when the Home Shopping Network has ugly old lady clothes or TVs. There's a part when one of the girls is trying to flirt and she asks where the crapper is...she's got a load of timber to drop off. I know it's gross but also hysterical! What can I say? Not only am I a 15 year old Twilight addict, I'm also a 1o year old boy who thinks poop is funny!

The parents out there know what i'm talking about! Think about when your baby was a baby. How much did you talk about poop? ALL THE TIME! Everything was about baby poop. That's how it's getting to be around my house because if I'm not complaining about not being able to poop then I'm bitching about Riley pooping in a diaper or that Shannon can pretty much poop on command.

Ugh! Stupid poop.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Son of a Biscuit! That hurts!

I know I've been super slacker on my blog and I'm sorry to all of you have missed my wit and comedy!

Did you know that besides working full time, trying in vain to protect an accident prone 3 year old and being the best wife on earth, I am also a 3/4 time student? Yes! I'm a total super hero! I live on coffee and cigarettes while trying not to eat McDonald's because it's so convenient. Damn Ronald McDonald! DAMN HIM for putting a delicious, greasy, "what the f is in this food" restaurant on every other street corner in America! I'll admit it...I do like McDonald's but it literally makes me sick when I think about all the garbage that is in their food! But how do they make garbage and chemicals taste so good?

My little porty pain seems to be feeling a bit better but I left a message at the docs office to be sure. I'm having some weird right size pain now too. I'm thinking I over did it at the kiddo party yesterday. My nephew's third birthday was yesterday and I had to make a spectacle of myself and go in the big slidey bounce house with all the kidlets. I'm going to give some serious thought to building one of those bounce house places and market it as a gym for adults. I really think there could be something there.

Of course my Dad was at the party yesterday...outside smoking and inside eating countless pieces of pizza. There was salad too but I didn't see any greenery on his plate! I was angry watching him eat pizza.

Dad's tests are rescheduled for Thursday. I'm going to take him. I do think it seems alittle weird that my step mom isn't doing it. There's gotta be something going on there....I'm just not sure what. Last time he had this test scheduled, she had an annual grant meeting that she couldn't miss. She's a literacy something or other for Chicago Public Schools and her job pretty much depends on this grant and she couldn't miss the meeting, I understood then but not being able to take a day off to take your husband for test seems a bit odd....

I'm at work pain and needing to finish my 15 page marketing paper. I wish I knew what this pain was? Maybe it's just gas? It's P'nut/Mommy night tonight! I love when it's just her and I. We get to be silly,no Momma around to tell us what to do! I'm Mommy and Shannon is Momma...that's how we know who's who.

So beautiful ladies...Have a wonderful day. HAPPY MONDAY!!!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Help! Pain!

The past couple days, I have had an EXTREMELY tender spot just to the right of my port. It woke me up in the middle of the night a few days ago and now it's annoying all the time. Not painful when I leave it alone but if I touch the specific spot next to the port, it's pretty painful.Any ideas? My next appt is May 3rd. Should I call and see if I can get in earlier?

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Random thoughts by Banded Mommy

Groundhog day - My shadow has a waist! 6 more months of dieting!

Why do people look at you funny when you suddenly stop eating?

Greek yogurt is so much more delicious than traditional yogurt

Oh crap! I gotta pay my car payment!

Oh crap! I gotta pay my cell phone bill.

My mom tweets on Twitter. I think that's weird.

I really really really want an iPhone.

There should be pre-school for adults. You'd get to play all day and take a nap. That'd be the best!

Why is coffee at Starbucks so much better than making Starbucks coffee at home?

I really don't want to work!

I wish I knew what the lottow numbers were for this coming drawing.

I noticed that only moderatly fat (overweight and obese) people have walker shoes. Really fat people don't have them and really skinny people don't have them. Weird!

I really wish I was Bella Swan...I mean except for being chased by bad vampires.
I love Target but I can never find clothes there.
I think I have ADD...Oh look, SHINEY!!
Shopping is hazardous!
Heard someone at work today say that today was national smoke day and giggled. I think she thinks it's national smoke cigarettes day! Ummm...Not cigarettes lady!!! Well not cigarettes you can buy at the gas station anyway!


I have the worst cough right now. Annoying!!

I want to wake up tomorrow and magically weight 10 pounds less!

I'm totally excited to meet all of you but I'm alittle freaked out...I've never met anyone from online before.

I'm procrastinating right now. I have SOO much work to do and I just don't want to do it!

ok...I'll work now...BoRING!!!

Monday, April 19, 2010

I cant' stop myself....

I'm 15 stuck in a 32 year old body! I'm re-reading Twilight now and I can't put it down! It's like Cheetos only less calories! I started by watching New-Moon and thenI had to watch Twilight again. Then I had to read Eclipse again and then I had to read Breaking Dawn again and now I have to start over from the beginning! I have a serious problem! I'm totally addicted. I want an Edward Cullen! Someone to look at me with smoldering eyes and with that crazy sexual tension! Ugh! Shannon and I have been together for 12 years...we don't have that anymore!

I have lunch with my boss' boss in a half hour. I really need to eat something that I don't get stuck with. Anything bready...I'm getting stuck and people always notice. Mainly because I just stop eating. I don't know if I'm eating too fast or if I'm eating too much bread. I just need to figure it out and really pay attention!

I'll weigh in on Wednesday and report what I've lost! I was bad today and didn't eat breakfast!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Hey Baby...Need a ride?

I'm SUPER DUPER excited to meet all of you fantastic BOOB women!! I'm totally excited! Shannon wants to know if she can come and I told her no skinny bitches allowed! Well no skinny bitches that didn't work their ass off to become a skinny bitch! Former Fatty Skinny Bitches! Hmmm...maybe that could've been a good name?

If you don't want to rent a car when you get to Chicago - I'm more than happy to run the airport shuttle! Driving in the city can be scary if you're not a native! And, it costs money to park! It's kinda crazy!!

On to the me...

I lost a pound. woo's not a big WOO WOO because I totally thought it was going to be like 4 pounds. I'm angry with myself. My food choices have totally sucked. My excersise has been sporadic. I really really really need to get on the ball so when you Boobs get here, I've made some progress! My first goal was 50 pounds by June and i'm hangind around the 35 mark. I'm going to really need to buckel down to lose the next 15 pounds. Doesn't help that Shannon and the p'nut are making a cake right now as we speak!

That's all I've got for now. I'm sure I'll have more to say tomorrow!

xoxoxo...I really cant wait to meet all of you! I'm super duper excited!!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Dad, you're really pissing me off!

WHAT THE F*CK IS HE THINKING!!?!?!?! Right around Christmas, when I knew I was going to be banded, we had a talk about him having some sort of bariatric surgery to SAVE HIS LIFE but he told me he was ready to die. I'm going to be 32 this June and I still have all of my grand-parents and even 1 great grand parent (My father's grand-mother) but my daughter will not have the same thing because me dad is too much of a dumb ass to do something to save his life! That's how I feel. How could he possibly be ready to die? I know he's uncomfortable. I know he can't breath. I know it's hard to lose weight and I know it's hard to quit smoking but all of these things are possible and will hurt a lot less than the pain he's in now! WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM!!!?????

Way back when, when I first started my blog, I gave some background info about my parents. My mom had gastric bypass and all that jazz and my dad is just a mess.

Monday on my way home from work, my sister called me and asked if my dad had called. No, he didn't call. She goes on to tell me that he needs her to pick up Robert (I have a 7 year old brother, my dad's son, my dad's 56 and completely insane for having a kid at 50) from school at 2 o'clock on Thursday because he's going in for an angio-gram. Ok, no real big deal, right? The man is 56, 400+ pounds, smoker, diabetic, with COPD and high blood pressure. I'm not surprised he needs an angiogram! My other line rings and it's Shannon so I tell Melissa (my sister) that I'll call her back.

I call her back 10 minutes later and in that 10 minutes my dad has called her and told her the whole story and asks her not to tell anyone...including me! Turns out, my dad went in for some blood work and blah blah blah because even after tweaking his meds they can't get his bp under 160/100. They're pretty sure he's had a silent heart attack. So his cardiologist scheduled him for an angio-gram and possible angioplasty.

Anywho...Melissa doesn't want to ask for anymore time off of work. My nephew has really bad asthma and it's allergy season around here and she's been off quite a bit lately to take care of him. I called my dad and told him I'm going to take him to the doctor! Robert is going to the neighbors house and Shannon will pick him up when she gets off work.

I talk to my boss/BF/CPL(crazy pregnant lady)/car pool buddy and tell her what's going on. Being my boss she tells me to do what I gotta do, take the day off, work from the hospital, whatever. Being my BF she asks if I'm ok and I just go on a rampage!

I AM SO ANGRY WITH HIM RIGHT NOW!!! How do you explain to your father that he doesn't need to be like this? How do I make him understand, he can get help? I know I can't make him do anything and he has to want it but how can he not want it? Howcan he be ready to give up?

He's diabetic. He takes 2 different kinds of insulin. Pokes himself however many times a day for that. He's on coumadin. Injects himself every day with that. He can barely walk. Getting up and down the stairs is extremely painful for him. How do I explain that he can trade all of that...ALL OF IT for 10 days of discomfort following bariatric surgery? And then, slowly but surely he will feel better? How do I make him understand?

Monday, April 12, 2010

Work, School, Home, Work, Home...Repeat

It's Monday...BLAH! I'm having a really hard time with the scale. I know my eating could be better on most days and I really really need to implement a real work out program but I'm getting discouraged fast.

The NSVs are good but I really really want to see the scale move in a big way.

How did all your work out crazies get and stay motivated? When do you work out and how do you justify the time away from your family?

Thanks band of blog buddies!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Bowling burns calories?!

So yesterday I pretty much worked out all day. I played for hours at the park with the P'nut. And by play I mean I climbed stairs and ran after her...and sat on the swing! That surely burned some calories. I wonder if it was enough to compensate for the Burger King kids meal I ate after the park!? Ugh! Damn the french fries! Those delicious, golden, hot, crispy, salty, carby bits of fried heaven! My absolute favorite food in the whole wide world!!

After the park, we came home and played a bit in the yard. Then I cleaned and vacuumed my car. Around 7, we were off to bowling!

According to, bowling for 3 hours burned 1269 calories! That seems incredibly high! Let's divide that by 4 since I bowl with 3 other people and surely they burned some calories too!

I had a very good calorie burning day yesterday. And then today, I'm on my butt on the couch!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn & NSV

Yes. Yes, I read the Twilight series. I've watched New Mood on DVD and then I had to read Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, again! If you've never read them, I highly recommend!! I watched New Moon on Monday and had to read Eclipse again. Then after Eclipse, I had to read Breaking Dawn again. Breaking Dawn is 700+ pages and I read it in 2 days. That's just sick! I'm 32 years old and totally in love with teenage vampires!

Anywhoo...on with the weight loss or lack there of! I had a 1cc fill on Monday and I've lost a half a pound. Thank you TOM for visiting the same week as the fill, Bastard!!! Between TOM and that satanic scale, I want to force weight loss by self liposuction with my Dyson!

I did have a NSV though....Shannon and I had $40 in Kohls cash to spend along with a 15% off coupon...couldn't let those go to waste! We went shopping yesterday. I bought a shirt...a NON PLUS SIZE SHIRT!! It's an XL but it's a regular size. I wore it today. I have big ladies on the top, not like Amy W's big lady tukey-ish bits! :) I have big girls. And to be able to fit the girls into an XL top is the greatest thing!

Here's a little background...I could almost always find pants in the "normal" size section after losing like 20 pounds. I could almost always get jeans at Old Navy, 18s or 20s but I couldn't fit their XXL shirts. I'm built upside down. I'm bigger on the top, 44 DD boobies and back fat to spare but no real butt or hips. One of my goals was to be able to buy a shirt in any store. I don't think i'm quite there yet, but I'm definitely on my way and that makes me so happy and way more motivated!!

Well, it's late and I'm sleepy. I was bowling night and I've had a couple cocktails! I'm a bit tipsy and way sleepy!

G'night my band of blog buddies. Hugs, Kisses and Sweet Dreams! :)

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

At least there's coffee

I had yogurt for breakfast 2 hours ago and i'm starving! It's yet another food day here in the land of cubicles but someone brought a jug of starbucks coffee, so I get to have that. I could eat a spoonful of humus but Im not big on chick peas.

So I'm hiding in a conference room far away from the food madness by my desk.

Today is just a glum day. It's foggy and rainy and stormy outside. I actually had to pull over on my way in today because the rain was so heavy. Maybe I'm sad that I won't be able to do my run/walk with the p'nut after work. Maybe I need some real food! Ugh! I really hope this fill works for me.

I'm so anxious to get to my sweet spot and continuosly lose weight. I seem to go in chunks lately. Big loss...than nothing. I feel great. My pants are hanging off my butt which is awesome and I want to shop but after I lose the next chuck, the new pants won't fit anymore.

I think I may make an appointment with the nutritionist. Why am I losing in chunks? I'll lose 4-5 pounds in 10 days and then nothing for the next 20. I guess I shouldn't complain but I'm kind of stalled already too. I've lost 33 pounds as of my weigh in yesterday at the docs office. That's awesome but I really really REALLY want more!!

I've totally rambled this post. I'm just in a funk today, I guess. Maybe I'll go out for lunch and check out TJ Maxx see if I can find some new pants? I'll see what CPL (crazy pregnant lady) wants to do. I'm sure she'll want to eat and I can watch her eat.

Ugh! SNAP OUT OF IT MICHELE! I can run and walk in the rain, right?

Monday, April 5, 2010

1 cc..that's it?

Got gota mini fill. I can feel it though. At least I think I can. I've only had water so far and i'm kind of neasous.

I'll post tomorrow and let ya'll know how the day of liquids is going...

Sore booty and new shoes and blue toes! - LONG!

Whoo! What a weekend! Super fantastic, full of madness weekend just passed. I need a weekend after my weekend! And why does my bicep hurt? I don't understand...

Soooo Friday I had work, of course. I went to work where pregnant, crazy, boss, bf, carpool buddy had a really bad day and actually yelled at me for work related stuff. Then I fed her lunch and she was better! We shared an egg salad sandwhich and some Munchos. Feeding the pregnant woman is the way to fix her! Shannon and the p'nut met us for lunch. We went to the park. It was so nice out! 80 degrees and sunny! I ran around the park with p'nut and then had to go back to work all sweaty but it was so worth it!

After work, crazy pregnant lady and I went to the mall. CPL(crazy pregnant lady) is my stylist and always makes me buy things that actually fit. I've always bought and worn shirts one size too big because God forbid the shirt touched my muffin top! Shannon and I had a wedding to go to on Saturday and I NEEDED a dress! My staple skirt is too big and my staple shirt has already been handed down to my sister. So, Macy's!!! I love an excuse to shop!

I fount 2 dresses. 2!! I can never find a dress that looks good! NEVER! OMG! I'm so happy! LOVE LOVE LOVE the dress I found. And of course I needed shoes too. LOVE LOVE LOVE the shoes! And then I needed a wrap/scarf to cover up with.

This is the dress....

Satuday I had to go get my mani/pedi and get my eyebrows waxed. I was beginning to look like Burt from Sesame Street. I went to Famous Footwear and found the Avia version of the MBT or Sketcher rocker walking shoes. LOVE LOVE LOVE!! I can totally feel it in my butt! Then I went to Kohls. Shannon called me and said I needed to come home. P'nut went in the pantry to get a snack and a can of Mandarin Oranges fell on her toe. Her big toe nail is purple now. My poor poor baby! Her chin is all better and now her toe is jacked up! She can walk but she walks on the side of her foot to baby her big toe.

We went to the wedding and had a great time. Then came home and did the bunny thing. P'nut ended up sleeping with us. She had a VERY bad night and I'm thinking her toe was the culprit!

Sunday we woke up and went on an egg hunt around the house. Since it was so nice out we went to the park. Then went for breakfast. At breakfast we decided to take a quick train ride. Riley LOVES the train. So, Riley and I rode the train. We got on at one stop and got off at the next. Then we came home and got ready to go to my sister's for Easter dinner.

My butt is sore from my new Avia rocker shoes. I got new cute shoes too and my kid has a blue toe.

I HAVE MY 2ND FILL TODAY!! I'm so happy becuase I'm so hungry and I need some help!!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

What did I say?

I have no clue what I put in the earlier blog and I know I won't be near as witty in the replay...

I've been sick..blah blah blah. I know that was in there. Riley got her stitches out and now has those Steri-Strip things holding her boo boo together. It used to be a fight to get a band-aid on and now she's like Fifty-Cent wearing it as a fashion statement - she doesn't want to take it off!

So along with me being sick came eating for comfort and boredom. Now, I don't eat alot of things but I do eat all the wrong things! Ice Cream...ok it's low fat, light blah blah blah but it's ice cream! Popcorn. Not horrible on it's own, air popped and tasting like cardboard but that's not what I'm snaking on. Bring on the butter or the kettle corn....Hold on, I'm drooling! Ok, took a sip of water to stop salivating. Pretzels. My #1 enemy. I can eat an entire box of those hard Snyders Sour dough pretzels. OH MY GOD! I love to chip a tooth on those bad boys! And well, let's face it...when your sick with the sniffles, sneezes, sinus head ache from hell, ouchy ears and the poops that come along with the antibiotics, you eat whatever you want.

The scale wasn't too bad to me but I did run around like a mad woman at the bounce house on Saturday. Riley had a birthday party for her "boyfriend" and I swear I went down the bouncy slide more than she did. It was awesome! Best work out ever! They should make adult bounce house places...make the bouncy things bigger and market it as a workout facility...hmmm, That's not a bad idea....

Here's a pic of all of us on the big slide. I'm all the way on the right with Riley in my lap. My sister is the one all the way on the left. My bro-inlaw is behind her with my nephew and then Shannon next to me.
So any who...Yesterday I had a trade show to attend and that's a work out too. I was sweating like a piggie! And it was BEAUTIFUL outside! It's georgous again today and it's supposed to be amazing again tomorrow. Riley just wants to be outside all the time and I'm totally game for that!!

This is my little Tom Boy outside in her boy's Thomas t-shirt! Have I ever told you all how addicted my DAUGHTER is to Thomas the train? Addicted! A-DIC-TID! She will only wear Thomas "panties" and if you know anything about Thomas the train, they don't make girls Thomas unders. So, my little girl where's boy's undewear. Yes, the gay moms put their daughter in boy unders. My kid is going to have such a complex! She does carry a purse though. She carries a purse all the time. You want to know what's in her purse? TRAINS! That's right! Thomas, Percy, James, Emily, Molly, Rosie...all of them are in the purse!

So I'm down 2.5 pounds in 2 weeks. Eh...that's ok. I get my next fill on Monday. Thank god!!! I've been good far but I do plan on doing a little bit of running/walking tonight since it's SOOOO nice outside. Maybe I can drop another pound before Monday.


I had a whole post typed out and it's gone! Where did it go? UGH!

Longer post coming soon but I have to work...YUCK!