The P'Nut

The P'Nut

Monday, August 16, 2010

Good bye FAVORITE food...I'll miss you

I've figured it out. I know what gets me stuck. It is none other than my absolute favorite food. And when I say FAVORITE, I mean the food I could eat for days and days and days and not get tired of. It's none of other than french fries.

It's summer and we eat out a lot during the summer. Espcially this summer. It's been hotter than something really really hot here in the Chicagoland area. What do you get everything you order at any restaurant? That's right, fries. Delicious fries. 99% of the time, I'd only eat half of them but since being banded, I could only eat a few and I'd usually save them until the end, following at least that bandster rule.

So I've been exprimenting...getting fruit, veggies, mashed, baked, or something to replace the delicious fried taters and you know what? I haven't gotten stuck. DAMN YOU FRENCH FRIES! Why did it have to be you? I'm not sure if it's because I eat them fast or if it's becuase I eat too big of bites or if it's just that they're my favorite so they have to be the culprit but I've learned.

My great aunt died last weekend. Her wake was Thrusday. Shannon, p'nut and I got there pretty early. My dad showed up about 30 mins after us. I've talked about my dad before. He's incredibly unhealthy. Eats fast food constantly. Drinks regular soda. Smokes. Has high blood pressure. Has high cholesterol. Has diabetes. Has COPD. Has had a heart attack. Well he came walking in...more like lumbering in, sweating, breathing heavy and had to use a chair to hold himself up. He was so out of breath. I keep this picture in my head, reminding myself each time I put food in my mouth...this is what I DON'T want to be. I love my dad but I do not want to be in his position in 20 years. That will not be me!

So I will no longer be eating french fries becuase not only do they make me yarf, they can push me down the path of my father. Good Bye french fries. You've been a great friend and I will miss you. I may try to visit but we are not good for each other. I love you french fries. Good Bye.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Dream a little dream....

I know we all have big dreams. Some of us dream of being a famos actress. Some of us dream of winning the lotto. Some of us dream of just being happy and content with our lives. I dream about being a writer. I have so many ideas that I'd love to write about. Where do I find the time to write? I need to figure it out so that I can make my dream come true.

CPL and I are going to start a blog about where we eat. We both LOVE food! We love to eat! CPL (crazy pregnant lady) is actually a skinny bitch when she's not knocked up. Now, though she eats whatever she wants. I think she may birth a sombrero though, she's all about Mexican food. I don't know how many tries I'm going to take to try and eat a flour tortilla but everytime I do, I end up semi-stuck.

I digress...back to dreams. I'm a chronic day dreamer. I dream about book ideas and want to start writing but by the time I snap out of my la la land, I have to work or cook or drive or get alittle freaked out becuase I was driving and now I have no idea where I am!

What's your dream?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

CPAP - when can I stop?

Who else has or had a CPAP for sleep apnea? Anyone?

Being diagnosed with sleep apnea was my breaking point for getting banded. I had played with the idea for a long time but didn't decide for sure until I was told I need to sleep with a CPAP for the rest of my life.

I'm down just over 30 pounds now and I'm wondering when I can stop using it. Do I need to go for another sleep study becuase I really hated that!

Friday, August 6, 2010

What was I gonna say?

I had a great post in mind and now I can't remember what it was about. While I was lying in bed, I was thinking about my half assed blog posts of late and had a great idea for what I was going to say today. Then I fell asleep and now it's gone. I can't remember it at all!!

So I have another idea...Confession Time!! List a few of the foods that are your weakness. Here are mine...

Pretzels - Hard ones with lots of salt.

French Fries - Whoever dug up that dirty potato and thru it is some hot grease...BRILLIANT!

Donuts - Deep fried dough? What? DE-LISH-OUS!

Tempura Veggies - again...deep fried goodness

Deep Fried Mushrooms - Deep Fried Zuccini - Deep Fried cauliflour - Deep Fried ______

Velveeta Shells & Cheese

I have a fried food obession. Someone could say, I had a deep fried piece of poop and I'd ask if it was good. And if they said they dipped it in Ranch Dressing - I'd probably go get one for myself. Why is deep fried food so good? Is it the fat and carb mix that makes it irresistable?

So my friends - how do I stay away from deep fried goodness when it's all around me? The fryer calls to me from the back of any restaurant. It says "I'm hot and ready!"
**I was searching for my picture to add to my post and came across Deep Fried Cheeseburgers. OH MY GOD!! Where can I get one of those?

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Define: Hersband and other randomness

Hersband - noun. Play on the word Husband. Definition - A life partner in a committed lesbian relationship- usually the more masculine, or handy type.

Tuesday night, Shannon, my hersband mowed the lawn while the p'nut and I played in the puddle (we have a small pool, one of those cheapy ring pools) It was hot. She mowed. We played. She's the world's best hersband.

My mom had foot surgery last week. Had some bones in her foot fused. She called yesterday to see if I could deliver her prescription. I was home with a ear infected, feverish p'nut so Shannon did it. She's a good daughter without law or Daughter Outlaw as I like to call it.

My eating has been better. I'm following the rules more and couting my chews. I'm getting alittle obssessive about counting but it seems to work. I haven't slept well lately and I think that's why the scale isn't moving. I'll blame whatever I can when the scale doesn't move.

I feel like I got hit by a truck. My body is tired. Volleyball whooped me last night. I actually ate some sand...not tasty, pretty gritty.

I really really REALLY need to win the lotto. I don't want to work anymore. I don't mind the working part, it's the getting up and driving here part that I loathe. I don't understand the tollway/freeway/expressway when it backs up. We're all moving in the same direction, who the heck slowed down? Verticle peddle on the right people....Let's move!!

I want to wake up tomorrow as a size 8. Wonder if I can "The Secret" that into reality? If I just start wearing size 8 pants, maybe they'll magically fit one day.

We're moving. Did I mention that? We went thru some financial crisis over the last year. Just like everyone else, the economy has killed our home value and blah blah blah. We found a place not far from our current place. I'm SO SO SO SO excited to move!! I can't wait. It's bigger and the basement is finished and there will actually be a place for a treadmill! WHOOP WHOOP!! Shannon wants to buy a stationary bike too. How do we keep the p'nut entertained while we work out? Do they have work out DVDs for preschoolers?

I think that's all the randomness I have for right now. If I'm falling asleep later, I may post some more randomness just to keep myself awake!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Sliming. Getting Stuck and Learning!

I like to think I'm a quick learner. I've been proven wrong again! We went out for breakfast on Saturday morning. We were between gymnastics and swimming lessons. Shannon was going to take p'nut to swimming while I ran to the bank but we met for breakfast in between.

I was good, or so I thought. I had coffee, scrambled eggs with cheese and mushrooms. Food came...I started to eat. P'nut started to be a brat so I was forced to enhale a few bites before removing her from the table for a little talk in the bathroom. I knew I was a bit stuck when I got back to the table. I took another bite anyway because I guess i'm just a glutton for punishment. I requested a take home container then. I'd eaten maybe 5 bites of my breakfast.

I excused myself to the bathroom which was full of old women. Slime and spit are just pooling in my mouth. After then all left I finally got a stall and started trying to get the egg out. I took 25 minutes for me to finally get the food up. It was awfule. Easily the worst episode of stuck I've ever had. It was violent and LOUD and I got the ball of goo out.

Shannon came to check on me while I was in there and I was in tears. I promised I'd call the doctor for a slight unfill. I haven't gotten stuck or had any problem since. I really think the getting stuck is me. I'm not following the rules and I'm learning the hard and annoying way.

I think I may have finally figured it out. I ate chicken salad yesterday and had no problem. Chicken salad was somthing I had a problem with even before my big fill. I had chicken for dinner last night too and had no problem. I think I really may have figured it out.

Shannon still wants me to go get alittle taken out but I feel like i'm so close to the sweet spot....

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Playing Catch Up

I'm trying to get caught up with everyones blog, but there's been so much going on with all of you!!

I weighed in this morning..lost a pound and a half! WOO WOO!!! I'm LOVING this fill!! LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE! Not to mention, I played volleyball last night for the first time in a while and I sweat my ass off which just make me feel fantastic. I'm a bit achy today but I like it. It means I really worked.

I've also got a headache, which is annoying the shit out of me. And evidently I have a potty mouth this morning. Sorry to those who may be offended by my trucker speak.

CPL (Crazy Pregnant Lady) is doing well. She's a nice round 6.5 months pregger and is getting to the point of being uncomfortable. The good part is that she can't eat as much which means we can go back to splitting meals and I won't feel compelled to eat the whole thing, not that I could anymore anyway. Did I say I love this fill? LOVE IT!!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I've been bad!

I've been a bad blogger
I've been a bad bandster
I've been a bad weight loser
I've been a bad eater
I've been a bad excersiser
I've been a bad girl!

Since my injury, I gain 7 pounds. I'm mad but I'm back on the wagon. I've lost 2 of those in the past week

I went for a fill last week. A fill with upper GI. I have a 4 second delay now and man can I tell. I can't even make it thru 2 eggs before I feel stuffed. I can eat ice cream to my hearts content though. I really need to get that shit out of the house. But it's so delicious and it's summer. Stupid stupid slider foods. Why do you have to be so yummy?

So I'm back. I've been too mad at myself to blog and didn't want to admit i'm a big fat failure. I have to remember, there will be set backs...this isn't a quick fix!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

You have to be kidding me! Torn Achilles

So...I over did it. I started having some pain in my foot 3 or 4 weeks ago. I thought it was from wearing really flat sandals. So I bought new shoes! What else is a girl to do? When that didn't work...I bought another cute pair of sandals. Nope, still hurts. So I bought a pair of Birkenstocks. OH MY AWESOMENESS! Love them. Foot pain eases up! Woo hoo!

Yesterday morning, my Achilles started to ache. I ignored it, put on my birks and went to work. It ached pretty much all day. I walked my normal lunch stroll. Ache, pain, I pushed thru. I had Volleyball last night. I played. It ached.

I woke up with morning, got out of bed...OW! HOLY CRAP! The freaking hurts! Who just smacked me in the heel with a ruler? Son of a biscuit, that hurts!

I made an appointment with a Foot and Ankle specialist. I've partially torn my Achilles. No walking, running, jumping, swimming or physical activity for 10 days, at the least! Probably more like 3-4 weeks.

ugh! I'm aggrevated!

Why do I always have to be the happy one?

I'm surrounded by a bunch of crab asses. WTF people? A little bit of a smile wouldn't kill you!

Shannon's got killer PMS. It happens every month...I spend 3 days questioning our relationship and wondering if she's really happy becuase not matter what I say or what I do, she's pissed off! I think i've finally figured out that it's PMS and not me. I feel better this month knowing that it will go away.

CPL is incredibly cranky too. She's been cranky forever though. If she's not eating, she's angry. Ugh!

I feel like I'm always the happy one trying to cheer everyone up.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

My birthday cake

I nearly peed in my pants when they brought this out!

Delicious yellow cake with fresh strawberry filling and whipped cream frosting. it was FANTASTiC! Thank God I only ate one Fajita! We ended up at Chili's not BWW.

I say it's my Birthday!!

Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! Happy birthday dear MEEEEEE-EEEEEE!!! Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeee!!!!

You know what that means...FOOD DAY!! And 2 bitches brought me donuts! Really? Really people? No one believes in veggies or fruit or nuts or something better for me than donuts? I LOVE YOU DONUTS but Frida does NOT like you at all!

P'nut's favorite song is Happy Birthday. She sang it to me about 20 times this morning. She's just too too cute!

We're going out for dinner tonight with CPL (crazy pregnant lady) and her baby daddy, my mom and sisters and brother in law and my nana and papa...we're going to Buffalo Wild Wings. I'm not sure what to eat there...any suggestions?

Love and Kisses!!! :)

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

When will I ever learn?

I think I've learned an important lesson....DO NOT DRINK WHILE EATING!!! Yes, I have been banded for 4 months and it has taken me this long to truely understand the ramifications of mixing liquids and solids! Is it because I have some restriction now? I'm thinking yes....

So Saturday no wait maybe it was was Sunday, Shannon and I fruitlessly tried to start our lawn mower for 45 minutes. It's broken. We went to buy a new one. P'nut spots the Golden Arches and I ask Shannon is she's hungry. We pull in to the drive thru. I order my 4 pc kids meal with a large iced tea. We pull in to the adjacent Wal-Mart parking lot and I take a bite of my McNugget then a swig of tea, not thru the straw. OUCH. Oh that's not good. I try and bite of nugget because I'm a fat kid and I want more food. Nope...Not moving. More tea...oh that's really bad. The slime starts. SLIME SLIME SLIME SLIME SLIME SLIME. I've wasted of the napkins. I get out and walk around. I think I'm a bit better. I put the food away and get on the road. 3 miles later...I pull over.

It's 95 degrees outside. We're on a 4 lane road. I'm standing behind the truck (GMC Envoy) spitting yuck into the weeds. I'm next to the exhausted and my feet start to burn. I walk around and spit some more. Then get back in the truck. It's only a couple more miles to Lowes. I can make it. I think. We pull in the parking lot and I hope out of the drivers seat in the middle of the lane waving to Shannon. I can't talk. I've got too much goop in my mouth. Spit, spit spit spit spit spit spit spit spit.....walk walk walk walk walk walk walk. RELIEF. It goes down. The rest of the day is without incident. I stick with mushy foods.

Yesterday, CPL (crazy pregnant lady) and I head out for a shopping excursion. I have the p'nut and she wants a hot dog. Ok. I can eat a hot dog. Again, I order a hot dog and an iced tea. Two bits in and I'm stuck again. Yeah, I drank so tea too. DAMN IT! This time it's worse. I'm in the bathroom when are slimy ball of food finally come up. SWEET relief. I think it's over. We pack up to go. In the parking lot, the slime start again. WTF? I thought I just PB'd this stuff up? 30 minutes of spitting later the food goes down.

Am I too tight or am I getting stuck because I'm breaking the no drinking rule?

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Pools and Sunburn and sweat..Oh Yeah! Summer is HERE!

Spent the whole day and I mean the WHOLE day in the pool on Sunday. I know you all are thinking I must have this great big pool...hahaha, I don't! It's a kid's pool but it's not a bad pool at all!

We filled up the pool at 8 AM on sunday and Riley was in it from 8:30 until after 6 in the evening. I had one wiped out kidlet! I was in and out of the pool but got some nice burn! I was religious about SPF'ing the p'nut but not so good about putting even a dab on myself. But I was in the shade at some point too. It's ok, I got good color.

I wore my bathing suit in the backyard and my neighbor comment "Hey, Michele. I don't think I've ever seen in you in a bathing suit." definitely have not because we don't have whales in Chicago! I had some confidence in my suit but not a lot.

Anyway...I stepped on the scale. I nearly cried but instead got really really PISSED OFF! I gained. I knew it. DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN! 6 pounds. WTF?!?!?!? My appointment is today at 4:15. I know I beat this weight monster and meet my goal. I just need to know that there will be ups and downs. I need to focus on the downs and keep fighting! The best part is, even though it's only 30 pounds lost, I feel better and I'm more active with my daughter. That was my number 1 goal and I've done it. I just want more. I want to be more active and to do that, I need to lose more weight. I CAN DO THIS!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

87+ degrees in May? In Chicago? WHAT???

I may break out the bathing suit. It will be the first time I ever wear a bathing suit in my own back yard. We're filling up the p'nut's pool right now. It's a pretty big pool. It's only 18" deep but it's 6 feet around! I think I may just sit in it and feel the burn!

I'm sure I'll have lots of pictures to post!

Happy Sunday!!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

GoWearFit - BURNING...No it's really burning me!

I think I'm allergic to it and that make me so sad!!

I got my GoWearFit yesterday from Amazon. I payed for 2 day shipping so I could have it before the weekend. I charged it up and wore it to bed because I so super excited to try it out. P'nut slept with me last night so, my sleep was not the greatest but I also couldn't tell this thing was BURNING!!!

I'm trying it on my other arm today because I want it so bad! I'm so exited to have this thing and so sad that I like I might be allergic to it.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Completely off topic of Banding. My friend Mike...

One of my closest friend recently donated his kidney to a co-workers wife. It's just amazing.

Mike and I used to get in all sorts of trouble together. We had fake ID's and bar hoped when we were in our teens. We drove drunk and ended up in opposite jail cells at one point in time. We were crazy, STUPID kids!

Here is some proof of how much we all can grow over the years. He is now a generous, responsible and incredible man. I am so proud to call him my friend.

If you need some inspiration or need to inspire someone, share this incredible story.

Fill Scheduled...Time to get back to work!

Volleyball starts tonight. Praise Buddha! Exercises for my lazy ass! Maybe I'll see some loss. I'm back on the wagon. I started this morning with a Sugar Free Carnation Instant Breakfast at 6:30. I had small veggie omelet at 9. I still want to snack but I'm not going to! I need a fill. Frida is not working and she just keeps making me hungry.

How do I ask for a bigger fill? I know he's only going to want to do half a CC. How do I ask for more than that? Can I tell him I want at least 1cc? Do I say, I dont' mind coming back if it's too much? How do I get him to do more?

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Celebrate with food!

I am such a fat kid! It's food day AGAIN here in the land of cubicle dwellers and I have eaten everything! It's not even 11 AM and I think I've consumed a week worth of calories and i feel like I might explode!

I'm calling today to schedule a fill becuase I know I'm not losing. I haven't stepped on the scale and i KNOW it's going to say I gained. I can feel it. I've gained. I'm sad. I need to get back on the wagon.

Schedule Fill and get back on track.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Neck -1.5
Bust -3
Waist -5
Hips -5
Thigh -4.5
Arms -3

I've lost 22 inches! HOLY CRAP! That's like 2 feet of me...gone! I can tell in my arms, which is awesome considering I LOVE tank tops but always hated wearing them. And now that I've lost 3 inches in my arm...I don't mind at all!

I'm still on scale strike.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Goodness, Gracious, My Band Feels Like it's on Fire!

Not really but I'm getting some heartburn. I must have really pissed Frida off.

I ate cereal for breakfast. Rice Krispies. They're small and if you let them sit in the milk for 30 seconds they become mush! Frida is not liking it. Frida's not liking much of anything since the pizza and salad fiasco of yesterday.

I'm having lunch with a friend today. She knows I'm banded but I really really don't think she'll take too well to me running to the bathroom when I get stuck. I'm going to stick with soup for lunch. It's cold and rainy today so soup is PERFECT! Too bad it's Friday. Everyon has Clam Chowder on Friday's and I'm not a big Clam Chowder fan. I'm sure there'll be some chicken noodle or somthing.

I'm still boycotting the scale. I will take measurments tomorrow for sure and post the progress. Maybe I'll even take some panty pictures and post before and afters. Shannon is the WORST picture taker but she took the before, she should probably take the afters. I think it's becuase she's skinny that she things you can hold the camera low. We chubby girls know...Camera up high!! HIGHER HIGHER...PERFECT! Stick out your chin and CHEEEEEESE!

So I read that the people banded at the same time as me have more fluid in their bands than I do. What gives? Why is my surgeon a wuss? I guess it's good though because I obviously haven't figured out how to eat and not get stuck. This learning curve sucks!

I'm having the WORST hair day. Sorry that was just a random thought that I had to share.


Thursday, May 6, 2010

That was BAD

Stuck episode ended with vomitting in a public bathroom! YUCK

I've never been a puker. Even when I was pregnant, I wished I could barf. I'd be so neasous but nothing would ever come up. Well today I went to lunch with CPL (crazy pregnant lady) and another co-worker. I had the half pizza, half salad. When my plate go there, I dug into the salad. DELICIOUS!!! I ate a piece of broccoli....rut roh! Wait...Wait....Wait....Nope, not going anywhere. I take the walk to the bathroom where I continuously spit slime into the sink. EW EW EW. I'm the only on in the bathroom so no biggie. I walk back to the table and feel the gloriousness of the food sliding down....AHHHH..

I take a sip of water...all good. Moving right along. I take a bite of pizza. Frida doesn't mind. Eat more more salad. WHAT THE HELL??? I'm REALLY stuck now. I was paying no attention shoveling food into my pie hole and i'm super stuck now. I try to wait it out at the table. I ask to get my food wrapped and excuse myself to the bathroom...AGAIN!

On my walk to the bathroom, I start to get that salty taste in my mouth. I'm breaking into a sweat. There are weird noises trying to escape from my mouth. I sound like a frog...ribbit...ribbit. OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH. I'm in there for 15 minutes. Spitting. Cursing. Bending. Standing. Walking in circle. Arms in the air. I feel it coming up...I panic. Spit..Spit...spit. Oh god...oh God...OH GOD!!! RELIEF!!! Ahhh...I feel like a belimic. Sweet relief.

I rinse my mouth. I wash my hands. I don't feel so great. Heart burn like. I go back to the table. CPL knows what i've done. She asks if I'm ok. Of course I am. I'm totally fine. I just want to lay down.

So I'm going liquids for the next 24 hours. Frida is PISSED OFF!!!

Monday, May 3, 2010


I just thought I'd post some pics...mostly of the p'nut but she's just too cute to not take pictures off. I'm going to do my measurements this weekend. I'm getting discouraged with no big scale movement and I want to get away from the scale anyway.

Monday Monday....

Today is supposed to be a weight in day...I'm boycotting. Stupid TOM! I'm a bit tired of the scale and I hate being a slave to what the scale says anyway. Maybe I'll go on a month long scale strike. I want to lose 10 more pounds before my birthday. That's going to be my goal. That was my orginal goal...50 pounds before my birthday. I'm hanging around the 37-38 pound loss mark and my birhtday is June 3rd. I can do 13 pounds in a month, right?!?!?!?!?

Yesterday was my great-grandmother's 96th birthday. I wore a pair of size 16 Gap capris. They were comfy, no camel toe!! So I'm thinking this must translate into some actual pounds lost but I'm afraid that it won't and therefore I will not step on that stupid scale.

So Great Grandma is my dad's grandmother. The rate were going, she'll outlive my dad...sad! My dad of course was there showing off his beautiful purple legs and his grey diabetic toes. I somewhat stayed away from him becuase I'm still angry and hurt and I just don't know what else to say to him. I didn't do it on purpose, the avoidance thing. I just thought of it now, that I really didn't talk to him much at all.

On to other, happier things....Volleyball starts soon! I'm so excited! I can't wait. I'm with a new team this year so that should be interesting. I just got an invite for Beer In Hand of my absolute favorite summer activities! We played for the first time last year and it was so so so much fun!! You have to maintain a certain amount of beer in your cup while playing the game. You can't set the cup down....serving the ball is the trickiest part.

Ahh...summer is a comin' ! I can feel it! I got a smidge of sun burn and I want more!! I'm really looking forward to this summer, with more self confidence and less fat holding me back....

Happy Monday BOOBs~~ xoxoxo

Thursday, April 29, 2010

So sleepy

it was a long day!

Dad's test went better than expected. Turned out that he didn't have enough of a blockage to need a stent. I guess that's good. I listened to his excuses all day long. I was good. Made subtle comments but I'm pretty sure I didn't get through to him at all.

My surgeon's office on the same campus as the hospital. So, while Dad was doing his 4 hour wait after his procedure, i went for my appointment. He only gave me .5 a cc. What's with that? I said I can eat an entire cow and be hungry 3 hours later and you only give me .5 cc?

I'll make a better post tomorrow. I'm super tired and ready for bed.

Sleep tight BOOBs!!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Tough Shit! No really...Tough shit!

I need fiber! And water evidently! I know I've complained about my poop before but I'm here to complain about my poop again!

My daughter will not poo-poo in the potty! We've got pee pee down but when it comes to the poop, she asked for a diaper! Ugh! Kid! POOP IN THE POTTY!!!

So much of life revolves around poop. It's important to know how often you're supposed to poop. If the poop is hard. If the poop is loose. Why is poop so important? It's the waste. Do we need to study it as long as it's leaving?

My poop clock is still living in some other time zone. My guts are all kinds of crappy! Ha! Pun! I can feel the fullness but the poop won't get out.

I feel like Amy W...full of shit! Ha! I mean I poop but only alittle. I know there's got to be more poop in there!

Anyone see the movie House Bunny? It's one of those dumb humor kind of movies that you watch when absolutely nothing else is on TV. Like when the Home Shopping Network has ugly old lady clothes or TVs. There's a part when one of the girls is trying to flirt and she asks where the crapper is...she's got a load of timber to drop off. I know it's gross but also hysterical! What can I say? Not only am I a 15 year old Twilight addict, I'm also a 1o year old boy who thinks poop is funny!

The parents out there know what i'm talking about! Think about when your baby was a baby. How much did you talk about poop? ALL THE TIME! Everything was about baby poop. That's how it's getting to be around my house because if I'm not complaining about not being able to poop then I'm bitching about Riley pooping in a diaper or that Shannon can pretty much poop on command.

Ugh! Stupid poop.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Son of a Biscuit! That hurts!

I know I've been super slacker on my blog and I'm sorry to all of you have missed my wit and comedy!

Did you know that besides working full time, trying in vain to protect an accident prone 3 year old and being the best wife on earth, I am also a 3/4 time student? Yes! I'm a total super hero! I live on coffee and cigarettes while trying not to eat McDonald's because it's so convenient. Damn Ronald McDonald! DAMN HIM for putting a delicious, greasy, "what the f is in this food" restaurant on every other street corner in America! I'll admit it...I do like McDonald's but it literally makes me sick when I think about all the garbage that is in their food! But how do they make garbage and chemicals taste so good?

My little porty pain seems to be feeling a bit better but I left a message at the docs office to be sure. I'm having some weird right size pain now too. I'm thinking I over did it at the kiddo party yesterday. My nephew's third birthday was yesterday and I had to make a spectacle of myself and go in the big slidey bounce house with all the kidlets. I'm going to give some serious thought to building one of those bounce house places and market it as a gym for adults. I really think there could be something there.

Of course my Dad was at the party yesterday...outside smoking and inside eating countless pieces of pizza. There was salad too but I didn't see any greenery on his plate! I was angry watching him eat pizza.

Dad's tests are rescheduled for Thursday. I'm going to take him. I do think it seems alittle weird that my step mom isn't doing it. There's gotta be something going on there....I'm just not sure what. Last time he had this test scheduled, she had an annual grant meeting that she couldn't miss. She's a literacy something or other for Chicago Public Schools and her job pretty much depends on this grant and she couldn't miss the meeting, I understood then but not being able to take a day off to take your husband for test seems a bit odd....

I'm at work pain and needing to finish my 15 page marketing paper. I wish I knew what this pain was? Maybe it's just gas? It's P'nut/Mommy night tonight! I love when it's just her and I. We get to be silly,no Momma around to tell us what to do! I'm Mommy and Shannon is Momma...that's how we know who's who.

So beautiful ladies...Have a wonderful day. HAPPY MONDAY!!!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Help! Pain!

The past couple days, I have had an EXTREMELY tender spot just to the right of my port. It woke me up in the middle of the night a few days ago and now it's annoying all the time. Not painful when I leave it alone but if I touch the specific spot next to the port, it's pretty painful.Any ideas? My next appt is May 3rd. Should I call and see if I can get in earlier?

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Random thoughts by Banded Mommy

Groundhog day - My shadow has a waist! 6 more months of dieting!

Why do people look at you funny when you suddenly stop eating?

Greek yogurt is so much more delicious than traditional yogurt

Oh crap! I gotta pay my car payment!

Oh crap! I gotta pay my cell phone bill.

My mom tweets on Twitter. I think that's weird.

I really really really want an iPhone.

There should be pre-school for adults. You'd get to play all day and take a nap. That'd be the best!

Why is coffee at Starbucks so much better than making Starbucks coffee at home?

I really don't want to work!

I wish I knew what the lottow numbers were for this coming drawing.

I noticed that only moderatly fat (overweight and obese) people have walker shoes. Really fat people don't have them and really skinny people don't have them. Weird!

I really wish I was Bella Swan...I mean except for being chased by bad vampires.
I love Target but I can never find clothes there.
I think I have ADD...Oh look, SHINEY!!
Shopping is hazardous!
Heard someone at work today say that today was national smoke day and giggled. I think she thinks it's national smoke cigarettes day! Ummm...Not cigarettes lady!!! Well not cigarettes you can buy at the gas station anyway!


I have the worst cough right now. Annoying!!

I want to wake up tomorrow and magically weight 10 pounds less!

I'm totally excited to meet all of you but I'm alittle freaked out...I've never met anyone from online before.

I'm procrastinating right now. I have SOO much work to do and I just don't want to do it!

ok...I'll work now...BoRING!!!

Monday, April 19, 2010

I cant' stop myself....

I'm 15 stuck in a 32 year old body! I'm re-reading Twilight now and I can't put it down! It's like Cheetos only less calories! I started by watching New-Moon and thenI had to watch Twilight again. Then I had to read Eclipse again and then I had to read Breaking Dawn again and now I have to start over from the beginning! I have a serious problem! I'm totally addicted. I want an Edward Cullen! Someone to look at me with smoldering eyes and with that crazy sexual tension! Ugh! Shannon and I have been together for 12 years...we don't have that anymore!

I have lunch with my boss' boss in a half hour. I really need to eat something that I don't get stuck with. Anything bready...I'm getting stuck and people always notice. Mainly because I just stop eating. I don't know if I'm eating too fast or if I'm eating too much bread. I just need to figure it out and really pay attention!

I'll weigh in on Wednesday and report what I've lost! I was bad today and didn't eat breakfast!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Hey Baby...Need a ride?

I'm SUPER DUPER excited to meet all of you fantastic BOOB women!! I'm totally excited! Shannon wants to know if she can come and I told her no skinny bitches allowed! Well no skinny bitches that didn't work their ass off to become a skinny bitch! Former Fatty Skinny Bitches! Hmmm...maybe that could've been a good name?

If you don't want to rent a car when you get to Chicago - I'm more than happy to run the airport shuttle! Driving in the city can be scary if you're not a native! And, it costs money to park! It's kinda crazy!!

On to the me...

I lost a pound. woo's not a big WOO WOO because I totally thought it was going to be like 4 pounds. I'm angry with myself. My food choices have totally sucked. My excersise has been sporadic. I really really really need to get on the ball so when you Boobs get here, I've made some progress! My first goal was 50 pounds by June and i'm hangind around the 35 mark. I'm going to really need to buckel down to lose the next 15 pounds. Doesn't help that Shannon and the p'nut are making a cake right now as we speak!

That's all I've got for now. I'm sure I'll have more to say tomorrow!

xoxoxo...I really cant wait to meet all of you! I'm super duper excited!!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Dad, you're really pissing me off!

WHAT THE F*CK IS HE THINKING!!?!?!?! Right around Christmas, when I knew I was going to be banded, we had a talk about him having some sort of bariatric surgery to SAVE HIS LIFE but he told me he was ready to die. I'm going to be 32 this June and I still have all of my grand-parents and even 1 great grand parent (My father's grand-mother) but my daughter will not have the same thing because me dad is too much of a dumb ass to do something to save his life! That's how I feel. How could he possibly be ready to die? I know he's uncomfortable. I know he can't breath. I know it's hard to lose weight and I know it's hard to quit smoking but all of these things are possible and will hurt a lot less than the pain he's in now! WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM!!!?????

Way back when, when I first started my blog, I gave some background info about my parents. My mom had gastric bypass and all that jazz and my dad is just a mess.

Monday on my way home from work, my sister called me and asked if my dad had called. No, he didn't call. She goes on to tell me that he needs her to pick up Robert (I have a 7 year old brother, my dad's son, my dad's 56 and completely insane for having a kid at 50) from school at 2 o'clock on Thursday because he's going in for an angio-gram. Ok, no real big deal, right? The man is 56, 400+ pounds, smoker, diabetic, with COPD and high blood pressure. I'm not surprised he needs an angiogram! My other line rings and it's Shannon so I tell Melissa (my sister) that I'll call her back.

I call her back 10 minutes later and in that 10 minutes my dad has called her and told her the whole story and asks her not to tell anyone...including me! Turns out, my dad went in for some blood work and blah blah blah because even after tweaking his meds they can't get his bp under 160/100. They're pretty sure he's had a silent heart attack. So his cardiologist scheduled him for an angio-gram and possible angioplasty.

Anywho...Melissa doesn't want to ask for anymore time off of work. My nephew has really bad asthma and it's allergy season around here and she's been off quite a bit lately to take care of him. I called my dad and told him I'm going to take him to the doctor! Robert is going to the neighbors house and Shannon will pick him up when she gets off work.

I talk to my boss/BF/CPL(crazy pregnant lady)/car pool buddy and tell her what's going on. Being my boss she tells me to do what I gotta do, take the day off, work from the hospital, whatever. Being my BF she asks if I'm ok and I just go on a rampage!

I AM SO ANGRY WITH HIM RIGHT NOW!!! How do you explain to your father that he doesn't need to be like this? How do I make him understand, he can get help? I know I can't make him do anything and he has to want it but how can he not want it? Howcan he be ready to give up?

He's diabetic. He takes 2 different kinds of insulin. Pokes himself however many times a day for that. He's on coumadin. Injects himself every day with that. He can barely walk. Getting up and down the stairs is extremely painful for him. How do I explain that he can trade all of that...ALL OF IT for 10 days of discomfort following bariatric surgery? And then, slowly but surely he will feel better? How do I make him understand?

Monday, April 12, 2010

Work, School, Home, Work, Home...Repeat

It's Monday...BLAH! I'm having a really hard time with the scale. I know my eating could be better on most days and I really really need to implement a real work out program but I'm getting discouraged fast.

The NSVs are good but I really really want to see the scale move in a big way.

How did all your work out crazies get and stay motivated? When do you work out and how do you justify the time away from your family?

Thanks band of blog buddies!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Bowling burns calories?!

So yesterday I pretty much worked out all day. I played for hours at the park with the P'nut. And by play I mean I climbed stairs and ran after her...and sat on the swing! That surely burned some calories. I wonder if it was enough to compensate for the Burger King kids meal I ate after the park!? Ugh! Damn the french fries! Those delicious, golden, hot, crispy, salty, carby bits of fried heaven! My absolute favorite food in the whole wide world!!

After the park, we came home and played a bit in the yard. Then I cleaned and vacuumed my car. Around 7, we were off to bowling!

According to, bowling for 3 hours burned 1269 calories! That seems incredibly high! Let's divide that by 4 since I bowl with 3 other people and surely they burned some calories too!

I had a very good calorie burning day yesterday. And then today, I'm on my butt on the couch!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn & NSV

Yes. Yes, I read the Twilight series. I've watched New Mood on DVD and then I had to read Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, again! If you've never read them, I highly recommend!! I watched New Moon on Monday and had to read Eclipse again. Then after Eclipse, I had to read Breaking Dawn again. Breaking Dawn is 700+ pages and I read it in 2 days. That's just sick! I'm 32 years old and totally in love with teenage vampires!

Anywhoo...on with the weight loss or lack there of! I had a 1cc fill on Monday and I've lost a half a pound. Thank you TOM for visiting the same week as the fill, Bastard!!! Between TOM and that satanic scale, I want to force weight loss by self liposuction with my Dyson!

I did have a NSV though....Shannon and I had $40 in Kohls cash to spend along with a 15% off coupon...couldn't let those go to waste! We went shopping yesterday. I bought a shirt...a NON PLUS SIZE SHIRT!! It's an XL but it's a regular size. I wore it today. I have big ladies on the top, not like Amy W's big lady tukey-ish bits! :) I have big girls. And to be able to fit the girls into an XL top is the greatest thing!

Here's a little background...I could almost always find pants in the "normal" size section after losing like 20 pounds. I could almost always get jeans at Old Navy, 18s or 20s but I couldn't fit their XXL shirts. I'm built upside down. I'm bigger on the top, 44 DD boobies and back fat to spare but no real butt or hips. One of my goals was to be able to buy a shirt in any store. I don't think i'm quite there yet, but I'm definitely on my way and that makes me so happy and way more motivated!!

Well, it's late and I'm sleepy. I was bowling night and I've had a couple cocktails! I'm a bit tipsy and way sleepy!

G'night my band of blog buddies. Hugs, Kisses and Sweet Dreams! :)

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

At least there's coffee

I had yogurt for breakfast 2 hours ago and i'm starving! It's yet another food day here in the land of cubicles but someone brought a jug of starbucks coffee, so I get to have that. I could eat a spoonful of humus but Im not big on chick peas.

So I'm hiding in a conference room far away from the food madness by my desk.

Today is just a glum day. It's foggy and rainy and stormy outside. I actually had to pull over on my way in today because the rain was so heavy. Maybe I'm sad that I won't be able to do my run/walk with the p'nut after work. Maybe I need some real food! Ugh! I really hope this fill works for me.

I'm so anxious to get to my sweet spot and continuosly lose weight. I seem to go in chunks lately. Big loss...than nothing. I feel great. My pants are hanging off my butt which is awesome and I want to shop but after I lose the next chuck, the new pants won't fit anymore.

I think I may make an appointment with the nutritionist. Why am I losing in chunks? I'll lose 4-5 pounds in 10 days and then nothing for the next 20. I guess I shouldn't complain but I'm kind of stalled already too. I've lost 33 pounds as of my weigh in yesterday at the docs office. That's awesome but I really really REALLY want more!!

I've totally rambled this post. I'm just in a funk today, I guess. Maybe I'll go out for lunch and check out TJ Maxx see if I can find some new pants? I'll see what CPL (crazy pregnant lady) wants to do. I'm sure she'll want to eat and I can watch her eat.

Ugh! SNAP OUT OF IT MICHELE! I can run and walk in the rain, right?

Monday, April 5, 2010

1 cc..that's it?

Got gota mini fill. I can feel it though. At least I think I can. I've only had water so far and i'm kind of neasous.

I'll post tomorrow and let ya'll know how the day of liquids is going...

Sore booty and new shoes and blue toes! - LONG!

Whoo! What a weekend! Super fantastic, full of madness weekend just passed. I need a weekend after my weekend! And why does my bicep hurt? I don't understand...

Soooo Friday I had work, of course. I went to work where pregnant, crazy, boss, bf, carpool buddy had a really bad day and actually yelled at me for work related stuff. Then I fed her lunch and she was better! We shared an egg salad sandwhich and some Munchos. Feeding the pregnant woman is the way to fix her! Shannon and the p'nut met us for lunch. We went to the park. It was so nice out! 80 degrees and sunny! I ran around the park with p'nut and then had to go back to work all sweaty but it was so worth it!

After work, crazy pregnant lady and I went to the mall. CPL(crazy pregnant lady) is my stylist and always makes me buy things that actually fit. I've always bought and worn shirts one size too big because God forbid the shirt touched my muffin top! Shannon and I had a wedding to go to on Saturday and I NEEDED a dress! My staple skirt is too big and my staple shirt has already been handed down to my sister. So, Macy's!!! I love an excuse to shop!

I fount 2 dresses. 2!! I can never find a dress that looks good! NEVER! OMG! I'm so happy! LOVE LOVE LOVE the dress I found. And of course I needed shoes too. LOVE LOVE LOVE the shoes! And then I needed a wrap/scarf to cover up with.

This is the dress....

Satuday I had to go get my mani/pedi and get my eyebrows waxed. I was beginning to look like Burt from Sesame Street. I went to Famous Footwear and found the Avia version of the MBT or Sketcher rocker walking shoes. LOVE LOVE LOVE!! I can totally feel it in my butt! Then I went to Kohls. Shannon called me and said I needed to come home. P'nut went in the pantry to get a snack and a can of Mandarin Oranges fell on her toe. Her big toe nail is purple now. My poor poor baby! Her chin is all better and now her toe is jacked up! She can walk but she walks on the side of her foot to baby her big toe.

We went to the wedding and had a great time. Then came home and did the bunny thing. P'nut ended up sleeping with us. She had a VERY bad night and I'm thinking her toe was the culprit!

Sunday we woke up and went on an egg hunt around the house. Since it was so nice out we went to the park. Then went for breakfast. At breakfast we decided to take a quick train ride. Riley LOVES the train. So, Riley and I rode the train. We got on at one stop and got off at the next. Then we came home and got ready to go to my sister's for Easter dinner.

My butt is sore from my new Avia rocker shoes. I got new cute shoes too and my kid has a blue toe.

I HAVE MY 2ND FILL TODAY!! I'm so happy becuase I'm so hungry and I need some help!!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

What did I say?

I have no clue what I put in the earlier blog and I know I won't be near as witty in the replay...

I've been sick..blah blah blah. I know that was in there. Riley got her stitches out and now has those Steri-Strip things holding her boo boo together. It used to be a fight to get a band-aid on and now she's like Fifty-Cent wearing it as a fashion statement - she doesn't want to take it off!

So along with me being sick came eating for comfort and boredom. Now, I don't eat alot of things but I do eat all the wrong things! Ice Cream...ok it's low fat, light blah blah blah but it's ice cream! Popcorn. Not horrible on it's own, air popped and tasting like cardboard but that's not what I'm snaking on. Bring on the butter or the kettle corn....Hold on, I'm drooling! Ok, took a sip of water to stop salivating. Pretzels. My #1 enemy. I can eat an entire box of those hard Snyders Sour dough pretzels. OH MY GOD! I love to chip a tooth on those bad boys! And well, let's face it...when your sick with the sniffles, sneezes, sinus head ache from hell, ouchy ears and the poops that come along with the antibiotics, you eat whatever you want.

The scale wasn't too bad to me but I did run around like a mad woman at the bounce house on Saturday. Riley had a birthday party for her "boyfriend" and I swear I went down the bouncy slide more than she did. It was awesome! Best work out ever! They should make adult bounce house places...make the bouncy things bigger and market it as a workout facility...hmmm, That's not a bad idea....

Here's a pic of all of us on the big slide. I'm all the way on the right with Riley in my lap. My sister is the one all the way on the left. My bro-inlaw is behind her with my nephew and then Shannon next to me.
So any who...Yesterday I had a trade show to attend and that's a work out too. I was sweating like a piggie! And it was BEAUTIFUL outside! It's georgous again today and it's supposed to be amazing again tomorrow. Riley just wants to be outside all the time and I'm totally game for that!!

This is my little Tom Boy outside in her boy's Thomas t-shirt! Have I ever told you all how addicted my DAUGHTER is to Thomas the train? Addicted! A-DIC-TID! She will only wear Thomas "panties" and if you know anything about Thomas the train, they don't make girls Thomas unders. So, my little girl where's boy's undewear. Yes, the gay moms put their daughter in boy unders. My kid is going to have such a complex! She does carry a purse though. She carries a purse all the time. You want to know what's in her purse? TRAINS! That's right! Thomas, Percy, James, Emily, Molly, Rosie...all of them are in the purse!

So I'm down 2.5 pounds in 2 weeks. Eh...that's ok. I get my next fill on Monday. Thank god!!! I've been good far but I do plan on doing a little bit of running/walking tonight since it's SOOOO nice outside. Maybe I can drop another pound before Monday.


I had a whole post typed out and it's gone! Where did it go? UGH!

Longer post coming soon but I have to work...YUCK!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Yummy stuff!

I am officially back on the wagon! My breakfast was deeeee lishes! Usually, at work, I'm a hot breakfast...eggs with cheese is my staple but I went grocery shopping yesterday on my way home from work and I decided to pick up a different brand of Greek Yogurt.

I was eating the Danon Greek Strawberry which was just ok. It was fat free and full of protein but I couldn't eat the whole thing, it was just too gritty. So yesterday I picked up some Chobani. The only fat free Chobani they had was peach, so I grabbed 2 but I also grabbed 2 of the 2% ones figuring they're only 3 grams of fat and as long as that's all the fat I'm eating for that meal, it should be ok. OH MY GOD! That was the a very VERY delicous 3 Grams of fat! LOVE LOVE LOVE!

And now I'm off to refill my water bucket....24 ozs down....40+ more to go!

P'nuts doing well by the way! My little bruiser!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Scale Movement! WOO HOOO!!

It was totally because of stress but I lost .6 pound..FINALLY!

Yesterday my little p'nut had her first real run in with the ground and needed 4 stitches. We got a call from daycare at 3:45. At 5 we were in the pediatrician's office and by 6 we were at the hospital getting her stitched up.

I was fine thru the stitching process but as soon as she was done, I went white as a ghost and felt alittle faint. All better after a few minutes but my stomach was still queasy. All of that adrenalin pumping thru my body.

I had class last night too so after the stitching, Shannon took Riley home and I made my way up to school. I stopped at Starbucks for a cappuccino and tried their Tomato Mozzerella Panini. It's delicious but I was so worked up I only ate a few bites of it before I just felt sick. Nothing to do with the band, I was just too anxious and keyed up to eat.

The p'nut is doing fine today. She's got a band-aid over her war wound and school is treating her like a princess. I'm working in a different location today so that I can be closer to her...and I had a meeting here but I could have easily gone to my office after.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Good Poop - Bad poop - Gimme some of dat...POOP

My poop clock is all kinds of screwed up! I used to be a morning pooper. I'd poop before my shower. Poop, weigh, dance around naked in front of the mirror loving my less fat body then jump in the shower on a scale dropping high. It would start my day in a most wonderful way!

Now...I wake up and pee......Give it a minute. Do I need to poop? Is the poop coming? HELLO?? POOP WHERE ARE YOU!??? No poop. Get on the scale. It does't move or it's just .2 up or down. I don't dance in front of the mirror but I turn and grumble at myself in the mirror making those fat faces where to scrunch your neck and sing "fat guy in a little coat". I get in the shower sad until a good song comes on the radio and then I start dancing in the shower thinking that at least i'm burning calories.

So I'm blaming my poop clock. My internal defication detector is malfunctioning. I need a major colon clense! So poop get ready...No more of this afternoon poop. No moreof this half a poop, poop.

Oh and Frida, what's going on? You're supposed to be controlling portions in there and you're just wide open! Two weeks, bitch and the doc is going to fill you up and you'll be back in line!

Thanks for all your comments and encouragement! I know, it was only half a donut but what if a half a donut becomes a half a dozen donuts! Keep me in check ladies!! :)

Monday, March 22, 2010

Headline Reads - Pregnant Lady Force Feeds Banded Lady Doughnut

It was my fault...I bought her the donut! And she took a couple bites and then felt sick. So the doughtnut went back in the bag that was when it began calling my name. It told me how delicious it was and how it would be fine to eat it since it was only half of a donut.

I ate it. I admit it...I ate the donut. And it was good and then I felt like a total failure! I haven't dropped any pounds even though I've dropped my pants. And in my discouragement, I ate the donut.

Friday, March 19, 2010

A week of no scale movement?

Ok scale, you're really pissing me off!!! Yes, I ate a bunch of green colored food goodies but I worked my ass off! Well not really but I didn't sit around at all!! Ok OK, I had chinese food and birthday cake yesterday but my baby sister will only turn 16 once! UGH! I need to get back on a diet and stop this eating frenzy!

Hey Frida...stop being pissed off when I eat bread! I like bread and you keep making it have me feel like I'm having a f-ing heart attack! I acutally had to PB up some soda bread on St. paddy's day. It was my first PB. I was on my way to the bathroom and had to stop in a conference room because it was on the way out!

My pants are too big but the scale isn't moving. I want a Diet Coke like you can't imagine! My pregnant friend is all barfy! That's my complaining for the day!!


Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Green Food and Pregnant BFs

This place is swarming with green food and I've eaten some of it! I didn't eat breakfast and I'm not going to eat lunch, I'm just going to snack all day long.

Pretzels with dip and cakes and chips and cakes and soda bread and veggies and's just all too good.

SO my bestie/boss/car pool buddy is pregnant! And anyone who's been pregnant with their first baby knows how much you eat just because you can. She's still in that place where everything tastes gross and nothing sits right. We're ok so far but when she gets into that 2nd trimester, and wants to eat everything in sight, I'm gonna have to ditch her at the buffet! I really really need a fill and to hit my sweet spot before she hits the second trimester or I'm going to be in trouble!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I have no idea what I'm going to ear for dinner....

I have my Stats final tonight...THANK GOD!! I wish the final was last week. I'm just so happy this stinkin' class is over after tonight.

Sooooo...usally by now, I have planned what I'm going to have for dinner and it usually include Noodles & Co. tomato soup, potstickers and Iced Tea but I'm not feeling Noodley today.

Around school are all sorts of goodies, Subway, Quiznos, BWW, McD, Arbys but what do I want to eat? The scale has been a big jerk lately and I TOM is vitsiting, AGAIN! I hate TOM. Stupid TOM makes me want Snickers and m & m's! I was thinking about doing a quick run before school...Just alittle jog to keep me from going to the vending machine before class....

So, HELP!! Tell me what to eat!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Scale you suck but the NSVs keep on comin'!

The scale has been bouncing between gaining a pound...Losing a pound...gaining a pound....losing a pound. Grrrr...I'm not stepping on that f-ing thing until Wednesday at the earliest!

NSV #1
Usually at our local greasy spoon, I ask to sit at a table since sitting in a booth can be tight and uncomfortable. Today, they showed us to a booth. I was nervous and I let the host walk away and asked P'nut if she wanted to sit with Mommy or Momma and then I scootched my body into the booth. I have room!! My tummy isn't even close to touching the table. WOO WOOOOOO!!!

I just took a bath with P'nut. I haven't done it in a while and she's super crabby today. The time change is terrible with a 3 year old! So I get in the tub with her and I have more room. It's not like I'd get stuck in the bath tub but I used to feel like a hippo in bath tub and now i feel more like a person in a bath tub.

NSV #3
It's kind of sad but happy at the same time. My favorite jeans are too big. We had bowling last night (yes bowling...I know, we're SO Roseanne Conner) and I nearly lost my pants once. That's was the moment I decided I have to give up wearing them.

All in all, I'm feeling great, but I sure wish the scale would starting moving down again.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Hello? Restriction??? Where'd you go??

Hi Restriction, it's Michele. I'm just wondering when you think you may return. Frida is useless when you're not around and I'm required to rely on will power which I will admit, is LOW or else Frida would never have been allowed to come work with me. If you could give me a buzz and let me know what your plans are, that'd be great! Thanks!

My fill didn't even last a whole week!?!?! Well that kinda sucks! I'm not overeating but my portions aren't near as small as they were over the weekend or on Monday. What happened to my tightness??

I just split a meal with a friend. I ate less than she did which is way better than pre-band when I may have left her hungry but I still had over a half a cup of food. I'm sure if I would've eaten slower I would have eaten less because now I feel full but a couple days ago, I would have been uncomfortable and stopped.

My next fill appointment is April 5th.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

6 weeks post-op today...

and I feel FANTASTIC!!! Fantastic is my new word! I love it. It's FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!

Last week I set a goal for myself. Since i was so close to 30 pounds, I wanted to lose 3o by my 6 week bandiversary. I didn't meet the goal but I am closer! I'm down 29.5...well one scale said 29.5 the other said 29. Let's be honest ladies, the lower scale is always right!!

So I've had a great morning even with it taking me an hour and twenty minutes to make it to work. I'm at a closer bulding today, it should have taken me 40 minutes MAX! Oh well. I stopped this morning to get cigarettes...Let me stop here...I know smoking is bad. I know that I'm a dirty dirty smelly yucky smoker! I want to quit, I really do but it's super hard. I quit while pregnant and while nursing but I picked it right back up again and now I'm having a really hard time putting those dirty stinky sticks down. Don't get on me about smoking...I know, I know,I know! One thing at a time...first weight, then the cancer sticks.

Ok so I stop at the gas station and I decide to get some lotto scratch tickets since I have $3 in my wallet, I got $3 worth. I'm walking out of the gas station and there's a penny on the ground. I picked it up. Come on now! I just bought lotto tickets, I lost 29+ pounds AND I find a penny?!?! I'm totally winning a gazillion dollars on these scratch tickets! I didn't. I won $4 but hey, I'm up a dollar!

I stopped at crackbucks and got my crack...I mean I stopped at starbucks and got my coffee and now I am at work.

In traffic this morning,I decided it was a pefect photo op. I took out my handy dandy Crackberry (black berry) and snapped a picture of me for my 6 week, 29.5 pounds lost gift to myself! I look BEAUTIFUL!! I just got my hair done on friday too so my red is super bright!

My lunch bag is in the car seat. Gotta keep that protein packed food safe!!!

Let me tell you where I see changes in my face...First my eyes are deepset and now, you can really tell. Even though I did take the picture from the "fat girl, don't show my chins" angle, I can acutally see my chin structure...I didn't know there was bone there!! Let's see if I can find a before picture from the same angle....
This is me and the peanut August or september of 2009. Hello chubby chins!

I want to invite you all to be my friend on Facebook. I wasn't telling anyone about my surgery and now I tell everyone. I'm way to excited and happy to keep this wonderfullness in!

Monday, March 8, 2010

39 grams of protein before noon!

It's a new record for me and I didn't even have to choke down a poop inducing shake! I'm on target to hit 80 grams today and thank goodness for that! My hair is falling out by the handful and I'm starting to resemble a middle aged man with a horseshoe comb over!

So far by food has gone like this...

Wake up and have a CIB (carnation instant breakfast for you people that don't text and still spell everything out!)

On the way to work, Stop at SBucks because I'm a total Starbucks whore and I was way too lazy to make my own coffee this morning. So I got a Cappuccino.

Arrive at work and answer emails and decide I'm a tad hungry so I head to the cafeteria for some scrambled eggs with cheese. I didn't eat it all but I don't know how to count fractions of eggs. If it's on my plate, I count it as ate!

I'm half way thru my calories which kind of sucks but I'm more than half way thru my protein! What do you think? Is this a good day or a bad day? I'm thinking good because I'm feel fantastic!!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

AWARD!! For me? Let me get my speech ready...

First I'd like to thank the academy for giving me this award! Just kidding but THANK YOU FOR THE AWARD!!

So I've been looking for nominees and I think everyone has been nominated!! And if they haven't been nominated, I totally think they deserve to be!

I don't have tons and tons of followers and I kind of like it that way. I can pretty much keep up with the 42 followers. I can read your posts most of the time. I may not always comment, but I do drop by to check up. I'm like a mama bear in a baby banded bear body!

If you are here - reading my blog and having any emotional reaction, you deserve an award!!

So here is the award...

I love all my followers and you all are like a good bra - supportive and beautiful!! Now if I could fit into that bra in the picture....well that's a whole other post!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

2 more down

Thank you fill! I'm totally in love with 3 cc's of saline! I mean, I'm sure I'll want more in a couple weeks but right now, totally in love with it!!! I can eat but not a's just perfect!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Givin' back some love!

I just need to tell you all how much I love and apprciate every little bit of support you give me everyday! I don't think I realized how much I would rely on my blog buddies for guidance and acceptance and kindness. I love you all for not judging my shamrock shake and giving me a push to just keep going!

That said...I'M STARVING!! I need this fill to loosen up! Just a little bit. I want some eggs! I want some creamy soup! I want something other than liquids! I can only eat half a know how long that shuts my stomach up for? About 20 minutes then it's back to growling like a wild animal!

Bring on the support buddies! I'm about to eat my arm off!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Got a filly!

I got my first fill!! WOO HOOOO!! I got 3cc. I'm so excited. I didn't even expect a fill today. I thought he'd make me go home and wait 2 more weeks but nope, he asked if I was hungry between meals, I said yes and he said that it sounds like it's time for a fill. Like I was going to argue?

I laid down, he felt my port. I sat up while he got the needle and such ready. Saw the needle...laid back down!!! He asked me to tighten my tummy muscules, like push my belly out at him. and then just a little poke. I was more suprised the way he pulled that bad boy out of there..YANK! He put a band aid on, asked me to take a few sips of my coffee and wa-la! All done.

Shannon and the P'nut were with me. Riley kept saying "Mommy's getting a shot just like Riley." after it was done she said it was her turn for a shot! She's so cute!

We went to eat after. Well they ate and I tried to drink some milk and eat some soup, chicken noodle minus the noodles. A couple swigs of milk and I thought I was going to lose it! Too too too fast chugging the milk I guess. I waited about 5 minutes and tried a small spoon full of soup...ok. Took a small sip of milk...ok. I was done. That was 2 hours ago and now my tummy is in full growl mode!

Getting fills is nothing! He didn't numb the area or anything and there was no rooting around for my port. Poke, plunge, pull. Nothin' to it!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I Hate you!


I feel a bit better now!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Wow...that's uncomfortable!

I'm eating my normal breakfast, scrambled eggs with cheese. Sitting at my desk, shoveling eggs into my pie hole, reading email, not paying attention and then...WHOA! What's that? That's not right? OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! BURNING! BURNING!!! Gonna barf! GONNA BARF!! Sip some water. Still gonna barf. I look down...Oh boy, I've eaten a lot! I wasn't paying any attention to my chewing or the size of bites. I'm guessing that I got stuck! Actually stuck on scrambled eggs! Stand up! Stretch. Pace around my cubical. Spit into the garbage can. Sit down. Take a deep breath....RELAX. RELAX RELAX!!!! Egg passes. AHHHHH.....Sip of water. I feel it go thru. One more small bite of eggs, it makes it through and I tossed the rest.
So I stepped on the scale this morning! STUPID STUPID STUPID!!! I had a Shamrock Shake yesterday. I paid today. I'm at 240 this morning! I gained a pound between my period and eating the stupid Shamrock shake. I'm hoping this pound drops off! So I gained a pound but my pants are loser than last week. What's with that? My bras are getting too big too. I have big girls so I don't mind losing a tad in the ta ta area. So the scale moves up and the pants fall down? I don't get it but the scale is just a number but the way I feel is the true test. Even with this cold that won't go away, I feel super fantastic about how my close fit!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I asked for it...

Oh yeah! I can BURP now! And they come out of nowhere. I'm sitting here at my desk, streaming episodes of Lost, while I run my reports and answer my phone, do my work thing and then, rumble, bubble... BELCH!!! Did anyone hear that? Should I say excuse me or just ignore it and pretend it wasn't me that made that insanely long gas pass.

No weight loss to report today since I refuse to step on the scale while Aunt Flo hangs around!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


Just my hospital bill was $29,958.80. HOLY SHIT!!! WOW! Thank GOD for insurance! My portion is $480.70. That I can handle!

My sugeon's bill...$6000! My portion of that $147. WOO HOOO!!!

I still haven't gotten the anesthsiologist, radiologist or whatever ologist I saw, I haven't gotten their bills. I'm guessing after all is said and done, I'll spend just under $1000 out of pocket.

Here's some TMI - turn away now if you don't want to know about my poop and female time....

I'm down 24.5 pounds as of this morning. I haven't pooped in 2 days...I think I need some oatmeal or prune juice. If I poop, I'll bet I've lost more!

I got my period too. Whoa! This one is heavier and more painful than before. I'm not sure what that's all about. I wasn't on the pill before surgery, maybe it's my lack of real food? Maybe I'm missing something that makes it lighter.

Glad to read that everyone is doing well!

Monday, February 22, 2010


Ugh! I've got a cold or something like a cold. I feel like crap! Runny nose, sore throat, yucky white spots on my tonsils. Shannon's trying to get me to go to the doctor and I just want to try and let it run it's course. If it gets worse or if I can't swallow then I'll go. Can I get liquid antibiotics?

I'm down 24 pounds now. Weight loss is definitely slowing down but I'm so happy to actually chew food! Soft foods are so good! Cheese! oh I missed you cheese! Cheese rolled up with sliced turkey breast with a bit of light mayo...YUM! and Saltine crackers?? Oh my the crunch! The crispiness of those salty blond delicious squares....

And now I'm off to blow my nose and lay on the couch. Thank God for sick days!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Love a good deal!

Saw the nutritionist yesterday. All is well. I've lost 20 pounds according to their scale! I kept telling her it's 23 pounds!!! My scale is so much better than your scale! She told me 20 or 23 is still above average for 3 weeks out. I have to go ahead to move to soft foods. I never knew how good noodles could be. Even super mushy noodles are delicious!

So at lunchtime today, friend/boss and I went shopping. I bought a pair of goalish jeans. They're Seven Brand Size 16 that I can't button, yet. They were on clearence and I had a 40% off coupon. They were $11! I couldn't pass that up!! We got back to work and parked the car thrilled with our new deals! I got out and noticed...SOMEONE HIT MY CAR!! UGH! Are $11 designer jeans worth a dent in the bumper? I'm kinda thinkin' so!!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

They're trying to kill me!

OH MY GOD! Polish doughnuts? They're seriously trying to kill me! I bailed out some co-workers last week. I stayed late and finished a major project and saved us a few million dollar contract. So today I get thanks with baked goods!

Just becuase I'm fat doesn't mean you need to feed me as a thank you. A simple email is great! These paczki (POOCHKEY) things smell so good! I used my finger and scooped some's so sweet and delicious! STEP AWAY FROM THE PASTRY!

Oh and I order girl scout cookies like a month ago...guess what was delivered? Why do I do this to myself! I wonder if I can suck on a thin mint....

Today is 3 weeks post op and I feel super fantastic. I'm down 22 pounds and my work pants are falling off. I can't wait to see the nutritionist so she can tell me I'm a good to move to soft foods. I feel like I'm doing so well and I don't want to rush it but breakfast is getting alittle monotonous, scrambled eggs with cheese. Lunch is getting old...SOUP SOUP SOUP SOUP. And dinner...soup or somthing ground up in the food processor. Can I please have some fish or something with some substance!?!?!? I might kill for a noodle.

Still though...22 pounds in 21 days is just awesome!!!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Getting Hungrier by the day

I'm getting hungrier and hungrier. I can eat more and more. I'm really trying to keep my portions smaller and I am sticking to the diet for the most part. I'm eating more and more mushy then pureed but everything is going down ok.

I have an appointment on Friday (my phone says it's on Friday but I really think it's on thursday) with the nutritionist and then 2 weeks later I get to see the surgeon and talk about a fill. He wants me on solid foods before getting a fill.

So I am now down 21.5 pounds. I can't believe it! I know I'm eating less calories and I should be losing but 21.5 pounds in 20 days just seems crazy! I still can't believe I'm banded half the time. I think that's why it gets harder to stick tothe post op diet, I don't feel any different most of the time. There are times I think I can feel the band and I can definitely see and feel my port but I still forget about the band.

I'm feeling great. My pre-op jeans are too big. Good thing I have 10 sizes of jeans! I started as a size 20 in jeans. I'm now in an 18! I have sizes 6-22 in my closet. The 6s and 8s aren't mine, they're Shannon's but they're still available for when I get there. I'm not trying to be a 6 but an 8 or a 10 would be fantastic!!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Valentines Day!!

Happy LOVE day!!! I hope everyone has a wonderful day with someone they love or at least like alot!

I will post a full blog post tomorrow but that's all for today. I have to get back to cuddling and watching TV!

Happy Valentines day.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Everyone knows...So much for it being a secret!

This picture could have been taken at my work. Seriously! And the black girl is looking at me with that gasping look on her face. YES ALL YOU NOSEY BITCHES - I had lapband surgery...JEALOUS??
I'm not good at keeping secrets about myself. If you tell me something in confidence, I'm good at keeping that kind of secret but something exciting, I'm no good! I buy you a gift, I have to give it to you right away. I just can't hold in happy things! And this was a happy thing!
I know why I tried to keep it from certain people...I work with some real snotty women who are constantly dieting and talk smack about each other behind the others back. I just didn't want to be a topic of conversation. So much for that! But I'm fine with it. I'm holding my head up high! This was in no way the easy road of dieting. While you're all snacking on spicy pretzels and red velvet cake, I'm over here buring my fat ass off sipping a protein shake. TAKE THAT!
That was my rant. Sorry...I had to get it off my chest.
I'm down another half pound today too. WOOO HOOO!!!!! I'm off to find some soup for lunch. Happy friday banded (pre or post) blog buddies! :)

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Scale on the weigh down!

After holding strong for 4 or 5 days, I finally lost another pound and a half! Woo Hooooo!!!
So I've been trying all sorts of different online calorie, protein, fat counters. What one is the best? Everytime I search for calorie content in foods I get directed to The Daily Plate. I was using The Realize My Success thing but it barely has any foods in it. I used to use Fitday but I think I like the DailyPlate.
I move onto soft foods soon. I think mushies and soft foods are pretty similar. What do I add as mushie?

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

2 Weeks Post-Op

I feel fine, like I did before surgery except I'm hungry and that makes me alittle crabby. And I'm tired. I'm guessing it's becuase I'm still recovering. My port area is still swollen and my incisions are sore but other than that, I'm fine.

I'm eating mushy. I'm doing pretty good sticking to it but I really want a salad. How weird is it to crave something so diety? And that's what I'm on now, a diet. I have no restriction so I just have to watch what I'm eating.

I have an appointment on the 19th, I wonder if I can get a fill that day?